


Sometimes he has two dads

by siangjiang



Category: Cracked - Ambiguous Fandom, Cracked.com, Cracked: After Hours
Genre: Bad Parenting, M/M, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, mentions of gay sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 20:05:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10343619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siangjiang/pseuds/siangjiang
Summary: Soren wasn't good with children, including his own. Even Daniel could tell.





	

"I really want to hang out with you Dan, I really do. But I've promised to spend time with my son, Erik"

"No no, it's okay. I don't mind. We can hang some other time. I've got tons of stuff to do anyway..."

Daniel was trying hard to sound nonchalant. Maybe a little too hard, because Soren had gone quiet on the other end of the phone. Shit, he could tell Daniel was lying. Maybe if he made it REALLY clear how much it didn't bother hi-

"I'm taking Erik to the park playground. You can come with us if you want? Or is that weird? Maybe it's a little weird"

"No, it's not weird at all! I won't look at the kids! Only Erik, but not in a creepy way or anything"

**********

Soren wasn't good with kids, including his own. Even Daniel could tell. Most of the time he was very awkward around Erik and quickly got annoyed with him out of frustration. Daniel wasn't sure what had gone down between them in their limited past, but Erik didn't seem scared of Soren at all, no matter how much he yelled. The little boy just happily continued whatever he was doing until Soren had to physically lift him to make him stop.

They sat on a park bench together, while Erik stumble around on the playground in a confusing turmoil of other kids. Soren was looking at his phone.

"Are people looking at us?" Daniel asked. Soren looked up at him, then around at the other adults.

"No"

"I just feel like they are" Daniel continued "I think they noticed I didn't arrive with a child"

"So what? You arrived with me and Erik. They're not going to think you're some creep who came here to jerk off to the kids"

"That's not what I meant" Daniel stopped for a moment "Is that what I look like?"

Soren sighed "What did you mean then?"

"You know, two guys sitting together..."

"Dan, you have to tell me what you're thinking. I don't know how your brain works. Look, there's two guys sitting together over there. Nobody's looking at _them_ "

"But they clearly have a kid each"

"What are y- Ooh"

Soren looked around, more discreetly this time. Now he saw the people looking too. Especially a small group of women sitting on the opposite side of the playground, smiling at them.

"Shit" Soren said "I can't have that kind of responsibility"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to be an unofficial spokesperson for gay parents. Erik keeps getting himself hurt, and you won't touch him"

"Children are riddled with germs"

"Exactly. We're going to make all gay parents look bad. I should go over and flirt with them"

"Why?"

"That way they'll know we aren't a couple"

"Oh..." Daniel looked at his feet with a breathy laugh "You don't have to. I just didn't like people starring at us. I don't mind-"

Soren had already left the bench and was walking towards the women. It felt like a stab to Daniel's chest, a feeling he had gotten a little too familiar with. 

He used to not care when Soren flirted with other people. Daniel knew he could never _have_ Soren anyway, so he was content with just being Soren's friend who sometimes got to shag him. It was nice and easy and nothing had to change. Except it did change. At least for Daniel. He was still okay with Soren flirting when Daniel wasn't around, it was easy to ignore, but every time Soren did it in front of him the knife dug a little bit deeper. _You're not good enough._ the little voice said _You're too pathetic_. Daniel tried to shake the feeling. Soren liked him. He had to. Sex was one thing, but they were at the park together. Wasn't that, like, the ultimate proof that someone liked you if they'd hang out in a park with you? The only thing to do here was be together? _Pha! It's just because you sounded so desperate on the phone. He feels sorry for you. Why else would he hang out with someone who won't even touch his son? His own flesh and blood._

As he watched Soren walk away, Daniel noticed a pair of children play-fighting out the corner of his eye. One of them knocked into Erik who fell over and hit his head on the soft sand. The little boy looked up, specks of sand stuck to his forehead, seemingly considering what had just happened and how he felt about it, before his face started to distort and turn red.

*********

Soren put the phone in his back pocket and dusted himself off a bit. The group of four mothers weren't exactly the most beautiful women he had ever seen, but he certainly wasn't the type to judge a lady by her cover. Sure, he was here to prove a point, but it would be a nice little bonus if he got lucky too.

"Hello ladies. I couldn't help but notice-"

He was interrupted by a scream from the playground he knew all too well.

"Erik!" he yelled, more angry than worried. He turned around just in time to see Daniel pick Erik up. What the-?

"It's okay" Dan called "I got him"

Soren couldn't believe his eyes. Dan held Erik as if it was the most natural thing in the world to him, like he had done it a hundred times and then some. And Erik, that little weirdo, pressed his face into Daniel's shoulder like it was perfectly normal. What could possibly have possessed Dan to-

"They're such a sweet couple" he heard one of the women whisper behind him, and suddenly he understood. The tiniest smile crept across his face.

"What?" one of the women asked.

He looked confused at her "What?"

She smiled "You said you couldn't help but notice something?"

"Oh, yeah, it's just that..." he looked back at Daniel and got eye contact with him for a second before Daniel quickly looked away "...we noticed you starring. We're just trying to have a nice day at the park, so please don't treat us like zoo animals"

One of the women opened her mouth to protest, but her friend stopped her "Of course, sorry. You just looked so sweet, and it's so nice to see people like you out and proud"

Soren had all sorts of things he would have liked to respond to that, but all that came out was "...Yeah, okay. Just don't stare. It makes him uncomfortable"

**********

As soon as Soren came back Daniel quickly handed Erik to him and tried to wipe off some sort of fluid the child had left on his T-shirt. Soren laughed.

"Look at you" he said "You're practically ready to be a father yourself"

"Ohnonono" Daniel quickly said "I just saw some kids bump into him and I could tell he was about to cry and you were busy with the ladies so I thought I'd-"

"I just told them not to stare"

Daniel looked at him "Oh?"

"I didn't flirt. Just told them we aren't zoo animals"

"So they still think...?"

"Oh yes. They're probably plotting to crash our wedding"

"And you're okay with that?"

Erik had started to wiggle in Soren's arms so he put the boy down without even turning around to see where he disappeared to. "I'm not sure, but they don't look like they hang out in the same circles as me, so I should be safe"

"So...we'll be a couple...here?"

"I suppose so"

For a moment they looked somewhat shyly at each other before Daniel spoke up "There's this unfortunate stereotype that gay men are pedophiles, so maybe that's not such a good-"

"It's super weird that you keep talking about that!" Soren interrupted "Could you just for once not make everything super creepy!? I can go back to the women and-"

"No! Sorry, sorry!"

They ended up going back to the bench, sitting at a modest distance from each other. They couldn't get all cuddly at a playground, but it still felt different. Nice. Warm. Daniel caught the women looking again, and didn't mind this time. Yeah, I'm dating this sun god of a man. Jealous? And he likes me enough to have a child with me! We're very happy together!

So what if it wasn't exactly true? Soren only had Erik every other weekend, he didn't want him more often than that, but it made the little voice shut up. The women believed it to be true and soon all the people here would too, and Daniel wouldn't feel like a worthless loser. Especially because Soren was okay with them thinking it too, so he had to like Daniel, right? _Only if he ever brings you here again._ the voice said _He's probably so embarrassed he'll never come back, not even alone_.

But Soren did invite him back to the park, several times, and each time the voice got a little quieter.


End file.
